Stress seems so ordinary when I think about it now. It was only when I attempted to avoid stress or when I distracted myself from stress is when it seemed to get better. The way I thought about stress was literally a “i’ll deal with it later” type of attitude. Most of the time, the way I was thinking and feeling wasn’t dealt with at all. My coping was to vent about what was happening without solving any actual problems. This became a habitual pattern in my life.
It was like this:
Stress – React – Vent – Stress – React – Vent
You get the picture, right? It was a constant cycle of not solving any problems, but focusing on them. Stress was something that happened to me and it seemed to control many aspects of my life, perception being the most important. I guess I thought that focusing on my problems would solve them, but it indeed made my anxiety worse. I found that many others were also focusing on their problems and what was going wrong after finally acknowledging that something needed to change. I knew that I was going to be the one to change things because it was stress that I was experiencing, that I was avoiding, and that I was distracting myself from.
What I found was simple, that I sure loved using my anxiety as an excuse to hold myself back. Looking elsewhere for answers brought me to what I already knew all along. It was that I’m indeed in control of my life, of my mindset, and of my circumstances. How I relate to stress is what matters the most, how I relate to my anxious mind is what matters the most, and how I take action in my own life is what matters the most.
I can complain all day about what isn’t working or I can focus on what’s going right in the present. It’s so simple, and it sounds simple until you start to observe your own internal experiences on a daily basis. Honestly, I started doing so because I finally acknowledged how not present I was due to getting so caught up in my thoughts. I mean, I would literally distract myself because of the inner boredom I felt when sitting still. I still catch myself sitting down, and then all of a sudden, I’m in the other room doing laundry, and cooking at the same time.
I’m getting much better at catching myself in action, though! I know exactly when I’m holding myself back and when I’m allowing my past affect my future. Each day is a new day, and we must forgive ourselves for some of the unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves. For not being present when we say we’re going to be, and for our minds getting stuck in what’s going wrong rather than right.
Forgiving myself has been the hardest part. Realizing when I’m holding myself back and for when I’m simply doing too much at a time. Knowing and accepting that I have real limits, that I’ll still make emotional mistakes, and that not everyone will support me has been a challenge. However, a greater challenge has and always will be not putting myself out there. For not doing something that I really believe in, due to fear. Stress and anxiety doesn’t need to be a bad thing, it’s reality. We all experience it, in different ways, at different times. It’s something we will continue to experience regardless of who we are, what we do, and how much money we have.
Whatever you’re experiencing right now, know that you’re not alone. If you know that you love to hold yourself back due to fear and are ready to take the next step in taking action in your life, it may be time to work with a life coach. Someone who will support you on your personal journey towards authentic happiness, purpose, and commitment. Your daily goals and challenges matter to me, and your relationship to them matters even more.
If you’re ready to take the next step, feel free to book your free discovery call at www.sarahfast.com. You can also reach out on my Facebook page – Fast Positivity Coaching and Events. I’m grateful that you’re here and I’m sending you love and light for the rest of your weekend.