If you have ever felt lost, confused, frustrated, anxious, sad, or bored, this blog post is for you. Throughout my life, I’ve struggled with a lack of confidence, and with anxiety. I never really understood how people could be so calm and positive each time I saw them. Even the ones who smiled ALL the time, damn they were so annoying. I always wanted to be like, your smile is ugly, and so are you. Optimistic people used to drive me up the wall. The happier they seemed, the more frustrated I felt. It was like everything I wanted was right in front of me for so many years, but I couldn’t get out of my own way to see it. Now, as I’m living life more aware of my own internal experiences, I’m seeing things that I’m still afraid to see. I’m experiencing and feeling things that I’m still afraid to feel and experience.
When I’m holding myself back, I love my anxious and depressive thoughts. Some of my thoughts have become so habitual, that my relationship to them has been most challenging to shift. When you become so attached to an end result with anything in life, it’s a recipe for disappointment. This is what I continue to learn as I discover more internal things about myself. There are times in which I’m still very critical, and when I’m quick to judge myself and others when things don’t turn out as I expected them to be. This judging of my own experience and slowly becoming more aware of it is what has brought me to Life Coaching and to my Mindfulness practice. It’s what has ultimately brought me to why I’m writing this today, and it’s for you.
It’s for those who feel as though they cannot achieve a daily sense of inner calm and authenticity. The ones who feel as though they’re holding themselves back, and those who are very much attached to the expectations they set for themselves. Have you ever set and accomplished your goal and then felt as though you missed how you were “supposed” to feel when you reached your desired outcome? Have you ever set an unrealistic and unattainable goal due to a lack of intention, commitment, and accountability? The best thing you can do for yourself is to acknowledge your thoughts and emotions. To give them space to be present instead of pretending everything is okay, and everyone is supportive.
Finding meaning can occur in each breath as long as we’re okay with releasing some of the control we love to hold onto. We must be willing to allow things to be as they are in order for any real change to occur. I think accepting things as they are has been the most challenging task for me, personally. I put ideas into my head that in order to achieve daily calm that I need to do __________ first. This is not the case, and if you think you must achieve a certain goal or look a certain way to feel more calm, it’s simply untrue.
Daily calm is available to anyone at anytime. It’s something that is deep inside you, something that no one can take from you. It’s the moments in which you don’t feel as though you need to be anywhere else. When you sit down after a long day, and literally take a few deep breaths, and are present for them. It’s when you rock your child to sleep, and smell his fresh bathed hair. It’s when someone messages you out of the blue and tells you that they appreciate you. These are all moments in which you are present in the moment, the moments you’re truly feeling through, and the moments you’re not trying to change.
Whether or not you feel daily calm depends on your willingness to pay a deeper attention to your own experience. You don’t need to force positive thinking to feel daily calm. You’ll notice pleasant and unpleasant thoughts. See which ones you’re attracting more of, and allow these thoughts to pass, as they will. No need to beat yourself up if you don’t feel successful, beautiful, and positive every single day. No need to beat yourself up if you change your mind many times, internally criticize yourself, or make emotional mistakes. All of your thoughts will pass as mine will too. We’re in this emotional life together, so we might as well be present for it, don’t you agree? If you’re committed to building a more accepting, authentic, and present experience, I would love to hear from you.
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Sending you love and light,